Democratic Republic of Congo AP – One million bonobo apes (Pan paniscus) furiously reproducing the works of Mozart were killed today by one million central chimpanzees (Pan troglodytes troglodytes) who had been producing the works of Antonio Salieri and were overcome with jealousy.
Adam said, “Lord, when I was in the Garden, you walked with me every day. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me.” And God said, “I will create a companion for you that [...]
An article in the St. Petersburg Fl. Times. The Business Section asked readers for ideas on: “How Would You Fix the Economy?” I think this guy nailed it! Dear Mr. President, Please find below my suggestion for fixing America ‘s economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that [...]
A salesman goes up to a house and knocks on the front door. It’s opened by a little ten year-old boy who has a lighted cigar in one hand, a glass of whiskey in the other and a Penthouse magazine tucked under his arm. Salesman: “Hello son. Is your mom [...]
I became confused when I heard the word ‘service’ used with these agencies. Internal Revenue ‘Service’ U.S. Postal ‘Service’ Telephone ‘Service’ Cable TV ‘Service’ Civil ‘Service’ State, City, County, & Public ‘Service’ Customer ‘Service’ This is not what I thought ‘Service’ meant. But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and [...]
A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, “Is this a union house?” “No,” she replied, “I’m sorry it isn’t.” “Well, if I pay you $100, what [...]
“This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain,20using the Q and A format: Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get [...]
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they had a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of [...]