Paraphrase Needed

If we stop calling tortillas tortillas and say instead that because intrusion of E85 fuel production is causing corn prices to rise, the people of Mexico are finding it more difficult to make bread, maybe people elsewhere will have an easier time understanding the problem. Even though the tortilla is a type of bread, the name seems to be causing a disconnect in the minds of people who don’t speak the language.

While we’re at it, how about quitting all high fructose corn syrup production and using the corn that would have gone to make that to make the ethanol? And since the transnational gruel corporations insist on making GMO seed, we can send all of that to the E85 producers.

Processed Foods: The Disservice

For over half a century the transnational corporations that today own most of the food supply and growing lands in this country and abroad have done a grand disservice to the people. Through their subsidiaries and associated companies that make and market the packaged and processed things we put in our bodies they have created an environment that encourages all sorts of bad habits and contributes to the non-stop health issues in this country and the world over.

The fact that we have never been able to know for certain what is the quality and whether we’ve been getting our foods from the better quality crops is bad enough. The processing and the additives are the worst part. Stripping the food of nearly everything that gives life and then adding back in a few processed vitamins, sweeteners, other processed items and preservatives make it something neither people nor animals should eat.

The advertisement of vitamin/mineral “fortification” causes further problems because of the fact and the manner in which we are taught to suspend questioning and thinking because of repeated false reassurances. People tend not to question or think about things when they’re encouraged to take them for granted or view them as being someone else’s job which has already been done (a slightly different way of saying the same thing). So we grab that box of cereal off the shelf and don’t look much beyond the banner in the corner that says it’s “FORTIFIED.” We drop it in the cart and pay for it and feed it to our kids without going over the label and asking ourselves why the cereal has both high fructose corn syrup and sugar and why the low percentage of RDA of vitamins make a flimsy fortification at best.

Another example is cult-like devotion the public has developed for fluoride. Again we’re lulled into a sense of cozy safety by being told that four out of five dentists recommend this or that. I want to know where in hell the fifth dentist is. Was he just thanked and paid for his participation and that’s the last he was heard from? I want to read the minority opinion. If the fifth dentist doesn’t recommend that type product what does he recommend? And if the fluoride in the toothpaste isn’t enough, then they want to put it in the drinking solution they’re piping in to everyone’s house. So we keep putting this substance in our bodies and going to the dentist and not knowing or questioning whether there would have been any reduction in the number of cavities suffered over a lifetime without it.

People are intelligent enough to make their own decisions about what and what not to put in their bodies. All we need is some self-ed on nutrition and a bit about biology and we can eat healthy all the time. But with all the crap that comes at them from all directions how is one ever to have enough silent moments strung together to learn about the human body and what it needs and doesn’t need? So we show up at the grocer exhausted and let the nanny of instant food in easy open throw away containers make our decisions for us.

If what I’m saying here pisses you off, good. Now go take that drive-thru fast food money and give it to the farmer because the only thing that’s pure is what comes from the Earth.

The Butter Bell

We’ve always kept bread spreads in the refrigerator. I don’t know if my mother has ever known about using a butter crock. Usually we end up mashing up the butter to soften it or heating it. The problem with this last method is that you can get distracted and leave it on for that extra split second and end up burning it. Centuries ago the French developed a two-piece crock device to keep the butter sealed airtight by suspending it in water. The butter stays fresh for a few weeks at room temp. (70-80° F) that way and stays soft. You can spread it on toast with ease without breaking the toast by applying too much pressure. If you live in a climate with higher temperatures you will probably need to check it more often to make sure it hasn’t started to slip out. It comes in 3 attractive colors. Check it out at vat19 dot com.

Pet Supplies

I don’t have a pet. Other than a trip to one of the major chain stores to get a dog whistle for a project I haven’t done any shopping for pet supplies. A lot of my friends have pets and I have gone shopping with them. On one of those trips a retired greyhound wanted to go home with me. Occasionally I hear about pet food that people can consume as well. I have to say I’d probably be fighting the dog over these sweet potato chews. It just sounds like something you could take on a road trip to balance the 87lbs of jerky.

Superbowl Peace and Quiet: It’s All About Choice

For dinner we went to Manny Hattan’s. I chose that one because I didn’t want my dinner interrupted by insane screaming in front of a 70″ TV. So we got treated to programmed 50s music. Sorry. I am one of those annoying antipathetic people where sports are concerned. I’m proud of the fact that I don’t care anything about scores and who’s winning and who’s losing and why I’m not drinking enough to suit somebody’s guest at somebody’s party.

The Collard Greens

An old black man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his yearly collard green garden, but it was always very hard work for him because the ground was hard. His only son, Junebugg Jankins III, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Junebugg Jankins the III,

I am feeling pretty bad because it look like I won’t be able to plant my collard green garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.

Love,
Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son

Dear Daddy Jankins,

Whatever you do, don’t dig up that garden. That’s where I buried the BODIES.

Love,
Junebugg Jankins III

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Daddy Jankins,
You can go ahead and plant the collard greens now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love Junebugg III.

Cluster fuc* at the restaurant

It doesn’t bother me when I walk in the door and there is no one at that receptionist pulpit-looking thing up front. Maybe he’s seating someone ahead of me. Maybe she went to the restroom. But when the chef is coming up from the kitchen to seat guests something is not quite right. It took over an hour for us to get our entrees. During that time two chefs, a dishwasher and the bartender came up and seated customers. EMS and the rescue firefighters showed up because someone in the kitchen had passed out. Then the manager finally showed up to help out. I think he was off that day and was letting the crew lead handle things. This would have been fine, but the problem began when two employees failed to show up. I don’t know whether they called in or just were no shows. So that plus the medical issue caused them to be short staffed by 3. There were plenty of empty, cleaned tables. So the line at the door wasn’t because the place was packed. I’ll go back. I’ve been to this place before and what happened today was not the norm. Plus having been a lead I know what it feels like to have stuff go wrong.

Not impressed: Creampuff

I guess it tasted okay. Not something I’d order off the dessert menu. Needs something. Maybe a bit of vanilla. Pastry tasted egg-ish..kinda like a puff crepe with creme squirted into it. Definitely could use some work. Maybe it’s best fresh from the dessert chef.

Aichmophobia: Fear of knives and sharp objects

What is it with people? Someone takes out a pocketknife to cut their own food with and people around them who are trying to pick apart their food freak out? I was in the restroom washing the knife on my multi-tool so that I could cut my orange and a coworker walks in and lumps me in with another coworker who uses a small knife to cut food. The difference is the person never washes the blade. Now if I had done something really absurd-looking like taken a pair of scissors and tried to cut my orange with one of the blades that probably would have been okay. Actually that’s the second time people have made comments like I was endangering others by cutting a piece of fruit. Well I’ve got good company. There is a little 10yr old girl who is being brought up on felony weapons charges for cutting a steak with a steak knife she brought with her to school.

This is a screwball world we live in.

Pornogastronomy

Eating something that by your official stance, reputation, etc. you aren’t supposed to. The vegan who sneaks an egg or a bite of cheese here and there. The carnivore who munches carrots while nobody’s looking. It’s porn. It’s the sneaking of a pleasure that goes against a religious or philosophical position one has taken. At first you’re committed. Then you have pizza with the other side. You’re picking off their ingredients off your slice. Then you find yourself catching bits of flavor here and there and you start thinking about tasting the actual thing. You try to explain it away with half-baked justifications like it’s just a black olive slice. As long as I don’t eat the green ones I’m okay. Finally those famous four words oh what the hell rise up in your consciousness and things are nearly too far gone. You fight the thoughts…the temptations. Then you’re eating meat on business trips where no one knows you. After that you munch bits of turkey while you’re getting Thanksgiving dinner together. You’d like to come out and say, I EAT MEAT DAMMIT! but you’re afraid your veggie gothchick girlfriend will dump you. You feel guilty every time you go out to the car and see that “Meat Is Murder” bumper sticker. Fortunately there is help available. The folks at The Omnivore Institute have counselors waiting to speak with you. They’ll show you ways to approach loved ones to avoid disowning and abandonment. They’re licensed, degreed psychologists. You’ll get all the time you need to explain your situation and they’ll work with you to get you towards a solution. Just go to their website and find out how you can reintroduce the new meat or veggie eating you to society.